Great essay! I've been struggling with some "grumbling" recently, and I've determined that I need a greater sense of internal control. Not that I can or should control everything, but that I am in control of myself and my reactions/boundaries. I've been thinking about "control" quite a bit recently, and I think it's something humans crave and must have. The key is to have an internal locus that helps us withstand the external things we can't control -- and choosing to trust God is key to achieving that internal locus. Just thinking out loud some thoughts stirred by your writing! Thanks!