Melodie, I am so, so sorry for your experience and pain. I can't even imagine. Open and Relational Theology, specifically the Thomas Jay Oord variety, may offer some solace. Basically, God doesn't have a body, God can't do everything, and God couldn't have stopped the abuse despite His desire to do so. https://theapeiron.co.uk/why-god-cant-stop-evil-3bb1a656b22e