Steven, your comment shows why a “plain reading” of the Bible is impossible. It must be read contextually, and we must be wary of imposing extra-biblical beliefs and ideas onto the text. The irony, now that I’m thinking about it, is that many conservative Christians accuse progressive Christians of importing extra-biblical ideas to “feel better” about Christianity’s relationship to social issues, yet conservatives import all manner of assumptions and beliefs when they insist on hyper-literal and acontextual interpretations like those you mention here.